Life from a Dog’s Perspective is a series written exclusively for The New Barker by Guinness, the Pembroke Welsh Corgi, as told to his hooman, Lon Martin. Photograph of Guinness by Lon Martin. life from a dog’s perspective. To all my bark-alounger readers, this issue marks 10 years that I’ve been diggin’ the dog’s life at The New Barker. WOOF! That’s some tail chasing good times, fur sure. So, check it out – the other day I was nosing through one of my favorite scratch and sniff columns on The Art of Chewsing the Right Shoes. Now, just so you know, I have a bone to pick with my fellow fur-kin that insist on fragmenting footwear, but it’s good to keep up with what the puppies are into these days. That’s my opinion and I never flip flop. But,I dogress. Then out of nowhere, Daddy yells the “S” word, and I mean really loud, too! Squirrel! Where?? Normally, I’d take chase to that nut nibbling tree hugger, but not today. Because today, I got my paws on my very own AARF card. The only Association of Retirement for this Furkid is an extra-long snooze! Dawg, don’t let anyone hound you about your age, because there are all kinds geri-active perks worth barking about. Like fridge benefits. Combo your Dog card with your AARF card, and BINGO you get BOGO (BEG ONE/GET ONE) on all treats. And by treats, I mean bacon. That’s right. (And you didn’t think you’d see the day that pigs would fry.) Not to mention front row seats for the best Jon Clawed Van Dog movies. Or watching old shows with Rin Tin Tin (the John Wayne of Howliwood). You even get away with not listening when you want to keep checking out that dead lizzie buried in the grass. Mom thinks I might be hard of hearing. But, Daddy is on to me. He told me it’s a good thing I’m in my Golden Ears. Whaaat??? I’m definitely not hearing that. Let’s face it. Hounds have their senior moments just like hoomans. Like for- getting where you left your bone;moving a little slower; snoring a little louder. And,of course,barking up the wrong tree now and again. I’m also a card carrying low rider,and that amps up the perks even more. I might not be able to hop up on the bed like I used to, but Mommy is right there to airlift me at my bark and call. For me, 14 years ago Mommy and Daddy didn’t even exist.Mommy said that’s like a Godzillan in dog years.BOW-WOWSERS! Where does the time go? I guess it’s true:fur flies when you’re having fun. U The Golden Ears. 100 THE NEW BARKER www.TheNewBarker.com –by Guinness