b'Obstacles AndUltimate Outcomes OfObedience Trainingby Patricia MisiukB ambina,ayoungGoldenRetriever,notonlytrained her human to march to her tune, but alsodisplayed age-appropriate puppyisms. Despite mysomewhatfluidno-dogs-on-furnituremandate,Bambinas go-to perch was my La-Z-Boy. Like clockwork,she demanded rides around the hood and never tired ofbulldozing through mounds of fire ants.Twas time to dial back her exuberance and frenziedfigure-eightsaroundfurniture.Enter:ObedienceTraining,withtheImperialPolkObedienceClubofLakeland, Florida. whose mission statement is we trainYOUtotrainyourdog.Yes,toeducateyourpuptorespondappropriatelytoone-wordcommands.Sit.Stay.Down. Heel. Come.Armed with a leash, training collar and treats, I sum-moned my pup with my high-pitched Barbara Woodhousevoice (remember walkies?) and announced road trip.Bambina hopped onto the passenger seat and sprayed salivaall over the windshield as I backed out of the driveway. Aftersurvivingcountlesstailthumpsandriversofdoggydrool,I swerved into the parking lot where other students, the four-pawed kind, and their owners had gathered.To Bambina, the outdoor canine classroom served an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord of mulch capped off by a dessert ofacorns and cigarette butts. My pup morphed into class clown inthis minefield of nicotine nachos.Be sure to exercise your dog before class, the instructorLinda advised.Did that, I answered. My canine rototiller excavated thebackyard. Looks like the Grand Canyon.Iobserved other puppies while Bambina twirled and wrappedthe leash around my legs.Are these other dogs on tranquilizers? I asked myself, as agoody-two-shoes Spaniel, aptly named Shadow, sat obediently ather persons left side.A Yorkie, Sergeant York, cowered when a Great Dane thesize of a minibus sauntered by.Bambinas selective hearing kicked into high gear when Iordered her to heel. Delayed reaction, she dive-bombed theback of my shoe.No! Not that heal, I corrected her.Bambina at 7 weeks old, November 1998 You have to let her know whos the boss, Linda warned. Iwas still on the fence when it came to whos the alpha in our familyspecking order.38 THE NEW BARKER www.TheNewBarker.com'