b'When I Grow Up,I Wanna Beby Patricia Misiuk (pictured below)I bulldozed my way through childhood as I rescued baby Finally, marriage and a steady job anchored me to onebirds, hopscotched to school and hung out with Jack, our place.Twas time to increase our twosome by four paws andfamilys German Shorthaired Pointer who had a billy goats fur.Enter Lucky, a mixed breed pound puppy who barked atappetiteforaluminumcreamcheesewrappersandnever- paper bags and portly bald men.Similar to Superman, Luckytoxic-to-him chocolate.Jacks talents included opening our could leap, not tall buildings, but kitchen counters in a singlerefrigerator door (back then, a foot pedal eased access) and bound to swipe food.I was still pondering, during Luckys 14drinking from a paper cup without spilling a drop. years with us, what I truly wanted to be when I grew up.Jack died the day before my high school graduation.I Our next pooch, a Golden Retriever we named Bambina,was, in todays parlance, a hot mess surrounded by incon- trained us to march to her tune.She listened in on our phonesolable grief. conversations.One swipe of her tail knocked over the exten-Coupled with my lack of lifes goals and instability, I zig- sions receiver so she could position herself within eavesdrop-zagged from punch-in, punch-out jobs to bottom feeder side ping range.I signed on and quit several bean counter jobshustles for decades.Some highlights: during Bambinas decade with us.*During summers when I was a teen, I did temporary work WhenMacushla, anotherGolden,joinedourpackofin a textile factory, fueled by steam generated in the dye house. two, she worked a room by demanding butt and belly rubs in*InaManhattanhigh-risemedicalcenter,Icollected exchange for wet kisses.Macushlas shoe fetish didnt manifestnickels from sanitary napkin machines while friends partici- itself by chewing or hoarding but by repositioning and, in apated in festivities at Woodstock. few instances, rehoming footwear. That missing Croc (not the*As a contract laborer in New Zealand, I plucked toma- reptile) ended up in a neighbors garage.toes from ground-level vines and Granny Smith apples from After my spouse passed away, Macushla and I found our-an orchard on the South Island. selves in the back nine of life.I segued from a full-time to a*Back in the US, I cut and pasted newspaper articles that work-at-home (sparked by COVID) gig.Following the heart-were submitted to various contests for media awards. wrenching decision to free my fur child from her suffering, IFor 25 years, give or take, I was rudderless and, more had time to reflect, and finally decided at the age of 76, whatsignificantly, dogless. I wanted to be when I grew up.64 THE NEW BARKER www.TheNewBarker.com'