b'Confessions Of ANovice Dog Sitterby Ellen Smoor FosterMichael,letsgetadog,Ivepinedfordecades.His Youll sleep with the dogs in our bed, Nicole explains.responseiswell-rehearsed.Ellen,arearugs,hardwood Michael counters, Im good with leaving them outsidefloors, chairs, travel. the bedroom and closing the door. This is our dance and we both know our parts, so, we Then you wont sleep, Nicole replies. continue dancing. Fortunately, our nephew, his wife, and Really? Michael asks.hermotherindulgemewiththeirfour-yearold Darwinwillpawthedoor.Hewontstop,Aussiedoodle,Darwin, andRaven, aneight-yearold Sheldon explains.Cockapoo.Okay, well give it a go, Michael shrugs.On a recent visit, they share next years travel plans and Ursula arrives with Ravens medications. She also bringsadd that they need someone to take care of Darwin and something else.Raven. Well do it! I screech.Ellen, Ill leave this package of wipes here at the door.Nicole looks at me slightly startled while silence falls Wipe her bum after she does her business. We dont wantheavy around us. Really?any surprises on the bed or the couch.Absolutely! I squeal. Im sorry. What? Sleeping with the dogs, okay, but wip-To appreciate this story, some context is necessary. First, ing her bum, not okay. Im fully expecting Michael to pickIm on my third glass of wine. Second, we know nothing up their poop. I must remember to tell him. Daily, Nicoleabout dogs. Third, Ive no idea of what all is involved, but I reminds us, Its like having two three-year-olds. Not terri-love dogs! Fourth, their house is beautiful and overlooks a bly helpful given were a childless couple.lake.Theyleave,butonequestionlingers:WhatdontNicole,twodecadesmyjunior,quicklybecomesthe we know?adult in the room. Think about it for a few months and By night three the bedtime routine is established. Thewell talk again. pups quickly claim their spots across the bed, relegating usOkay, but it wont change! I enthuse. Im all in and tobalancingontheedges.MichaelensuresthatRaven,Michaels fate is sealed. A year later we return, ready for our whom he now calls little darling in a voice that I do notthree-day apprenticeship.recognize, is tucked in. He caresses her while whisperingOur first lesson is walking the dogs. Michael wears the bedtime reassurances. treat pouch, so, naturally, hes popular. I find him too liber- Sweet dreams, little darling. al with the treats and quickly realize who will be the fun Shefluttershersleepyeyesashe,thedog-denier,one and who will be the responsible one.Michael calls it kissesherface.Shelowersherheavyheadtoherpaws.the Pouch of Power. I roll my eyes. A lot. Bedtime romance.Next lesson: night routines.Who is this man? 36 THE NEW BARKER'