b'Michaelisblissfullyunaware,Ravenissnoring,Darwin falls back asleep, and Im staring at the ceiling. Ellen 2, Rival(s) 4Feeling increasingly on equal footing with them, we chris-ten ourselves Aunt Mom and Uncle Dad. The dogs, TRAINING IS accustomed to sharing their parents meals, find us a bitstingy. Raven waits quietly with her eyes boring into us; NOT ABOUT YOUR DOGDarwinislesspatient.Whenhisdolefuleyesdontconvince, he positions his head tightly beneath my arm andviolently jerks it upwards. This tests my coordination and Training your dog is about you and any family patience.IdidwarnthemthatIwontshare,but member who will be theyoverestimatetheircutenessandunderestimatemy directly interacting with commitment to my meatballs. Theyll learn.your dog. Our Family Ellen 3, Rival(s) 4. Affair programs make Understandingthatitspossibletoretraindogs, training easy and fun. Be present with your dog Michaelbeginsanideologicalre-educationprogramfor to receive one of lifes Darwin.AddressinghimasComradeDarwin,he greatest gifts: explains the core principles of socialism. Darwin relents (or unconditional love.gets bored) and slides his front paws outward, slowly sink-ing to the floor with his familiar moan of injustice. WePuppy Training Specialist AKC CGC Testingboth laugh. Poor baby.Therapy Dog TrainingEllen 4, Rival(s) 4. SPECIAL OFFER:At the next meal, we execute a new strategy. We put thecanineco@yahoo.comthem outside on the deck and toast our cleverness. The 813.200.4204screen doesnt provide a sound barrier, so we close the door. www.TheCanineCo.comThe struggle continues so we switch places. They come@the-canine-companyinside and we dine al fresco! With only the screen closed(oops!) Darwin leaps through it, knocking it clear off itstrack. Raven follows.Ellen 4, Rival(s) 5.Aunt Mom is not pleased and resorts to a timeout. Im IM FUELED BY miffed that my human reasoning doesnt seem to work.HAPPY THOUGHTS,Wheres Darwin? Michael asks.Hes having a time out. Michael recognizes my tone. MY DOG, AND COFFEEMY DOGANND COFFEEEllen 5, Rival(s) 5.Hes havingthetimeoutoryoure havingthetime out? I dont find his question helpful.For how long? he asks.Ten minutes, I throw out. Darwin can think about his behaviour and will hopefully make better choices nexttime.F Youhaventlostsightofthefactthathesadog,right? Again, not helpful. Your new favorite coffee mug will be the one with Icaveafterthreeminutes.Darwintrotsoutand your dogs face on it. YourYour photo will be stylized and snuggles me. Dogs. Theyre amazing. While laughing, she the coffee mug customized complete with your dogs I contact my friend Sue who is well-versed in the wily name. Y Your morning coffee routine just improved.ways of dogs. I confess everything. gives me a crash course in dogs and finishes with two valu- Ordering is simple: able pieces of information. Call or email us at You know theyre testing you, right? Theyre seeing 813.200.4202what they can get away with and how much of a reaction woofmarketing@aol.comwwww.W.WoofMktgthey can get out of you. oofMktg.comReally? Continued on the following page g www.TheNewBarker.com THE NEW BARKER 41'